Peace or Freedom?

In last night's episode of Supernatural (an awesome show btw), this question was posed to one of the main characters: "What would you rather have, peace or freedom?" This question has been preying on my mind since.

Peace, to me, would be the absence of worry, of sadness, of the need to think for oneself. Peace would be having someone to take care of everything so that I would not need to be concerned with anything at all. Everything and everyone would be the same, following the same rules, living the same lives, even decorating their homes the same way . . . very peaceful.

Freedom, on the other hand, would be to have the ability to choose for yourself how you wish to live - whether it be in a peaceful state or one filled with both joy and pain. You are free to think for yourself, free to believe the way you want, free to live how you please without fear of repercussions or censure. You might want to live a life spent tending rose gardens around your house while your neighbor enjoys using rusty auto parts to make lawn sculptures in his yard. While there might be certain rules that everyone as a society agrees upon (murder and thievery is generally bad, while rusty lawn sculptures are negotiable), you both have the right to choose how you wish to live.

In my opinion, I've now experienced both. I was born and raised in the US where freedom is practically a religion. I've also spent the last decade in Denmark, where peace is the lay of the land. It has been a learning experience and has shown me exactly which one I prefer. While a peaceful existence is exactly that, for me it's stifling and lethargic. There is no need to think, to care, to exert oneself. The natives have lived a peaceful existence their entire lives and it shows in the lack of creativity and expressiveness, as well as a fear of anything that is different. A free life, while there could be pain and unexpected side paths, is a life filled with exhilaration and energy. For myself, I choose freedom.

What would you choose?

Home

Just one word that can evoke the whole range of human emotion - love, hate, peace, conflict, happiness, despair. For many of us, we came to Denmark, along with our new Danish spouses, filled with the hope that this could become our new home, the place where we felt safe and secure and accepted. We came with thoughts of a future where we could find personal fulfillment in our chosen careers and in raising a family. Denmark was the place that would enable us to fulfill these dreams, according to our Danish spouses. We did some research online and in libraries - what we found seem to support this. Denmark was a good place to raise families, find peace and acceptance.

We came here and slowly the bubble burst and reality set in . . .

Denmark was not very accepting of those who are different. Even many of us from 'western' countries found the natives as cold as a Danish winter. Okay, we thought - it will take a little time for them to warm up to us, once we've showed them we don't bite then acceptance would follow. We tried to follow all their customs, tried to learn the unwritten rules in both work and social situations, tried to learn their language (which can be compared to trying to speak while having a mouth full of mashed potatoes and sore throat). Our efforts were met with rudeness, racism and disgust. We couldn't speak danish without an accent, we put the wrong things on our rugbrød, we didn't drink ourselves to insensibility while having 4-hour marathon dinners, some of us even had the wrong hair color. In addition, the government kept making more and more laws restricting immigrant access to the country while the media pointed out that immigrants were the basis of all that was evil. But with an extremely high tax rate and the high cost of living, there's not much left of a salary (if you're lucky enough to find a job) for moving a family back home or even to another country.

So we learn to avoid contact when possible with the natives. Many keep to the expat community for a social life and acceptance. It can be a lonely life but unless one is willing to give up their individuality and to accept the racism and fear prevalent throughout Danish society, it's a way of surviving while one lives in Denmark.

However, one feels sorry for the people of Denmark as to how much they are missing by their non-acceptance of differences. All the different ideas and cultures that could help enrich their lives and country are feared and dismissed. This attitude, more than anything else, will keep Denmark as a provincial backcountry.

And will keep most of us from thinking of this place as home . . .