Monday, September 28, 2009

10 Clues That I'm Not Danish

1. I have manners, thank you.

2. I will actually stand in a line and wait for my turn. You are taking your life in your hands, however, if you try to cut in front of me.

3. Pickled herring, salty licorice, leverpostej - these are not edible food items.

4. I don't drink. I don't like the taste or how I feel when I do. Believe it or not, life can be enjoyed if you're not soused all the time.

5. It's my job to raise my children, not the government's.

6. Danish humor is not funny - unless you're Danish. The rest of us just don't get it.

7. Sitting in a chair is not meant to be an endurance contest or a test of how flexible one is. We have one Danish-style chair in our home which is my Danish husband's - you will be in desperate need of a chiropractor if you spend any time in it.

8. When I visit your home, I don't look into everything or wander through all the rooms. (Has anyone else experienced this here or is it special to the people my husband knows?)

9. I don't walk about naked in front of complete strangers.

10. I accept there is a world outside this country and there are actually better places than here.

8 comments:

Fuzzy said...

No kidding! The furniture is beyond baffling to me: it's cold and ugly and uncomfortable. WTF?

Anonymous said...

LOL at #8. Yes yes I have experienced that several times. It seems like they want to make sure that my apartment is Danish enough

Khawaga said...

I particularly agree with no. 5. As mother of three. Where do you live, A.G?

American Girl said...

Hi Khawaga :)

We live near Copenhagen at the moment, though started off in Odense for a few years.

My son's teachers still don't understand why we don't have him in SFO - it completely baffles their minds and I'm sure we'll hear about it again at the next parent-teacher meetings. He's involved with musikskole and karate, as well as having friends running in and out so he's having a good time.

Anonymous said...

Jumping up and down, I agree with all except the one about liquorice.

If you don't send your kids to SFO they will actually put points against you, you are now a suspect parent. I am not joking. It is seen as anti social.

The thing about Danes wandering around your house? O.My.Goodness, I've had that tooooo much, to the point where I actually ban the Danish spouses who have committed this crime when their expat wives have been here.

I had one Dane guy, came in, making comments about our kids not being in the local SFO (yes, really) and then proceeded to open our fridge, have a good look around and then changed his kids nappy on our kitchen FLOOR.

Other Danish spouses came in and found the bedroom and bounced up and down on our bed.

Another proceeded to mock wrestle with his sons (I'd been taking care of) and I had never met him before!!! Oh, I should explain, the mock wrestling was all over the house and very wild.

They may take their shoes off before they come in, but they leave their sense of control at the door.

But like I said, Danish spouses are pretty much banned from my house. It's weird, but it is only through bad experiences (repeated) that i know, it's just not worth going there.

Of course, we do know Danes who are not ridiculous, but just in general, I would let them in by careful degrees, and we do know several young single Danish men who behave with absolute decorum when in our home..perhaps all that rude prying and bouncing is some sort of passive aggressive pent up married Daneman thing?

You've inspired me. I have blogged about this before, but I will blog on it again, and link back to this article....

American Girl said...

The running about the house drives my Danish spouse nuts as well so there might be hope for him yet. So far this habit has caused some massive problems in that the last time we had a crowd, they so terrorized our one cat by cornering it in our bedroom that it freaked out and had to separated from everyone for a couple of weeks. It wanted to attack anyone that came near, it was so scared. Normal people wouldn't wander around bedrooms so it should have been a safe spot for the animals.

I can't wait to see what you can come up with, Babs - you do sarcasm extremely well lol Also glad to hear others have had the problem as well (though it would be nice to have no problems!)

bad immigrant said...

I love ALL of these and agree completely. Number 8 really gets my goat!

DreaminginDanish said...

No. 8 makes me a freakin' mad woman! So RUDE!